drama rears its ugly head

Trina wasn’t really sure how to respond to Sebastian, neither of her parents had actually died, but they might as well have. Her father was a nobody and her mother whored for a living. Her grandmother was the only real stable part of her life… maybe that’s why she was so obsessive about everything being perfectly fit into place. But it didn’t matter anyway, right then she needed to find a way to respond to his proclamation. Her choices were to pity him and pretend that she actually cared… that was mean. Trina shame on you, she thought chastising herself. She tried to imagine how he would feel…

“Oh, that must’ve sucked, I kind of can understand, but I never really met my dad… actually I don’t even know who he is or if he’s still living. I was a mistake.” Saying it made her feel a little sad. It brought back that old fear of abandonment she had always felt whenever she thought of her father. He had left her why wouldn’t everyone else? “It makes me really sad sometimes to think that I missed out so completely on that part of my life. I was never a ‘daddy’s little girl,’ my father never even knew me.” She tried to laugh and put a lighter note to the conversation, but failed. She had never really talked about her feelings related to her father with anyone. Her mother never talked about it with her, Gramma always hushed it up every time the conversation turned to darker ends. It was an in the closet kind of thing and Trina hated that. Because of it, and they way the women of her family treated everything of testy matter, she had been taught to hold everything inside and never let anyone know it was there. To put up fronts and cover with masks just to protect yourself from the viciousness of everyone else. It was painful and heartbreaking sometimes.